You Don’t Drink Either?!

Today I am at 101 days of no alcohol and things are going great. Not perfect, but better than any of my days of drinking. There have been so many wonderful things that I’ve noticed in my life without having alcohol as a distraction. For me, alcohol was my gift to myself for any given occasion: celebration, relaxation, getting rid of the blues, hell even because it was a nice sunny day out! When I decided to stop, I didn’t know who I was going to hang out with or HOW I was going to hang out with people. This is what I learned…

I believe people all have a very powerful magnetism to them, some sort of law of attraction. I noticed for myself, the things and ideas that I put out into the world, are usually fed and supported by my surroundings if I do it consistently enough. First few weeks of no drinking I felt isolated and alone. Then I heard through the grapevine a good friend of mine had also quit drinking. We started talking on the phone a lot and compared our experiences. We hung out and had food and great conversation- a far cry from our earlier years when we did nothing but get super faded together and talk nonsense.

One of my childhood friends who is also in her early 30’s recently quit drinking. She had some of the same issues I did about having the tendency to overdo it, and was tired of living with preventable regrets. She was relieved to hear I had also chosen to put the bottle down, and it opened a flood gate of comfort in similar experiences between us. We knew we weren’t alone.

The online community has been phenomenal! Just google anything about quitting drinking, the benefits of stopping etc. and you’ll realize there are TONS of amazing, interesting people from all walks of life fighting the good fight.

Then there were the people right in my sight line that I had seemingly overlooked because they didn’t like going to the bar as much as I did. Now I am finding out what those people are all about, and I have to say I was missing out. When people aren’t drinking, they are doing all sorts of things, and I am learning how to join in on those activities and not be uncomfortable because I don’t have my crutch. It’s truly delightful to indulge in people soberly and get to know their mind, personality and overall essence. I noticed I have to be patient for this to unlock however. When I drank, I would try and get buzzed quick and my mouth would start running and I would coast. Being with someone sober I have to get over this small hump of “What the hell are we gonna do then?” but eventually as long as I stay present, things start to happen, conversation starts to flow and we end up having a genuinely good time.

Going out for breakfast and coffee is my favorite way to connect with people now. Only other people who aren’t going nuts with alcohol are available and willing to do this at this hour. I have grown to adore mornings because I am never hung over; I feel fresh and uplifted because I know the whole day is ahead of me. I feel energetic and positive when I wake up now, and it’s great to share that with friends and catch up this way. The morning is not a drag, it’s freaking AWESOME!!!

Contrary to what I thought before, not everyone drinks… And for sure not everyone likes to drink as much as I did. I realize this idea of magnetism and attracting good things in our lives can seem esoteric if that’s not your thing. My only response to that is we must have FAITH. Faith in a higher power, yourself, the universe, faith in the power of love….however we want to think about it. We must believe in something, and sometimes it takes a while to figure out what that is. Believing we are capable of making this change is a good place to start.

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” -Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist